Team Communication

Team Communication

Dann Farrelly

Communication is essential to get anything done.
* Communication builds bonds and increases your happiness.

We learn about our communication from our parents and our peers.

Communication is a learned skill.
* It feels built in, but we have learned it over the years of our life, and interactions with others.

Keys to Communication:
* Know what you’re feeling.
* Understand what you hear.
* Take responsibility for what you say and HOW you say it.

In order to communicate with someone you need to show them honor and you need to be humble, powerful, and hopeful.
* Ephesians 4

Your Christianity is worthless if you don’t keep a tight reign on your tongue.
* Proverbs 15:28
* The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

When you grow in your ability to know how you’re impacting your environment, you’re able to bring life to it. * Self Awareness

Speak. Love. Inspire. Trust.

HOPE - shows in our tone, facial expression, and it looks like positivity.

Resolving conflict can lead to deeper relationships.
* In the moment of conflict there is a crisis, and the crisis is “we might grow farther apart”, but there is also a beautiful possibility of growing closer together in that conflict.

Think WIN/WIN
* How can we negotiate a new normal that is mutually beneficial?
* How can we both win on the other side of this conflict?

Share your heart, hear their heart, and create a new normal.

What are they trying to protect?
* Great place to find the win/win.
* Generally people want to save face and have choices.

Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.
* If you have ongoing tension with someone, it short circuits their normal response to the tension in your relationship.
* Listen for emotions
* Ask clarifying questions.

Try to prioritize connection above content.
* Sometimes you need to have two part conversations.
* Make sure they know that you prioritize their relationship over correcting them.

The marriage of what you say and how you say it is actually what you’re really communicating.
* Tone & word choice matter.
* Purposely change your word choices for maximum success in the moment of conflict.
* Every human being has a codebook, and it is different for every single person based on all of the different factors in their life.
* There is no standard-issue codebook.

To investigate codebook issues, use the phrase “I’m wondering if…”

If you don’t know what to say, open up your thought process.

Listen to them like you mean it. Moderate and change the message based on what you hear.
* Reflective - repeat back to them what they have said and ask questions.
* Active - listen for emotion before content. Reflecting the emotion.
* Summary - restate the main points.
* Essence - capture the essence or core message of what was said.

Responding to positive news with genuine interest and follow up questions will help you build trust within your team.

If you have to let someone know how you’ve been experiencing something, the “I” message is the best one to use.
* I feel….. when…. (Non blaming description)… because….so could we….? (creating a new normal)
* Don’t come too quickly to figure out a solution, because you need to make sure you have connection and are hearing each other first.